Sunday, February 12, 2012

Save the poor goblins

Hello adventurers, I am Sally Struthers. I come to you today to ask for you to give to the Save the imaginary goblin children fund. Every year adventurers slaughter thousands of innocent goblins. Orphaning many imaginary goblin children. I know your thinking, but goblins are foul decrepit monsters who steal our children, tourture anyone they can capture and kill for sport. A species so foul and cruel the vary light of the sun harms them!

But think of the poor imaginary baby goblins. Biting the fingers off their weaker siblings. tourturing rats to death and savaging any living thing smaller then themselves. They had their imaginary parents killed by imaginary adventurers! So please donate to the Over humanification of hideous imaginary monster fund! Dont let imaginary goblin children suffer imaginary pain and loss!

The arguements about not killing imaginary orc/goblin babies in B2 has reached new heights of stupidity. I think all the monsters as creatures with hopes and loves and feelings movies lately are fueling this new level of retardation.

Let me clarify.

Vampire: Sexual predator that kills to sustain its unlife... not sparkly teen dream.
Werewolf: Rage personified. cruel and remorseless killer of anything in its path... not hunky teen altenative boyfriend.
Golins/Orcs...humanoids et all: MONSTERS of EVIL who rape, kill and dominate themselves and others for no reason other then they are EVIL and like to do that sort of thing.

Dont transfer human qualities unto monsters designed to be inhuman. They all deserve to die!

For those who bemoan the poor humanoids and there mates and offspring slaughtered by adventurers. Perhaps you forgot in reading B2 the background of the module. These creatures are the ENEMIES of the human world. they seek to destroy and enslave that narrow path of human civilization. If not for adventurers sallying forth to bring the fight to the ENEMY humanity would be overrun by these fel creatures.

Heck even the valley with the actual caves of chaos in it, is described as being littered with human and demi-human skulls and bones.

Take heart adventurers these are foul beats with no mercy, slay them all! For they are "Not Worth Any Experiance Points Alive"!


  1. Not Worth XP Dead or Alive

    Any one running a game of biblical genocide (ie slaughter the children and livestock along with the enemy army) has the creative prerogative to do so; they do not however have the right to call their adventurers heroes.

    The Europeans tortured, enslaved, raped, and burned the homes of every indigenous cultural they ever encountered. By your logic my native ass is perfectly justified in walking into the suburbs and hacking up fat honkey children for pleasure and profit. It's gaming ideals like that, where sentient enemies are viewed as empty monsters, that give gaming a bad name, just as much as games that encourage players to be the inhuman monsters; they all make us look bad.

    If you give XP for killing children you are the reason gaming still has a bad name; now stand in the corner of shame with Tom Hanks and delete me from your G+ circles. You are the gamer I don't want to be associated with.

    1. If you want to quote historical atrocities, share the blame. EVERY culture at one time or another have commited them.

      I am talking about a fantasy game, where evil is real and quantifiable. Detect evil , protection from evil...

      Humanoids are not humans. Not a different race, color or creed. You really need to get that real world =/= fantasy.

      I am pretty sure i never used the word hero. I said adventurers alot though.

      As for making gamers look bad i would say its the gamers who bring real world baggage into a game. Maybe you need to go read the Monster Manual entries for your humanoid types.
      With out looking it up i am pretty sure they are all evil. Orcs are Chaotic Evil

      So yes i believe killing the soulless humanoid beats a duty of any who wish to promote fantasy good.

      Lastly the corner of shame is reserved for people who get completely bent out of shape over a game of imagination.
      I dont censor (delete from circle) disenting opinions because i am not narrow minded.
      If you dont want to be associated with me i wont cry.

  2. Real World. /// Imaginary Worlds.

    There is a difference.

  3. I don't have a problem with monsters that are 'always evil', especially devils and other mythological spirit-type beings. But when the 'always evil' races begin to look suspiciously similar to Colonial-era stereotypes that were used to justify oppression, slavery and genocide... then I start to feel a little uncomfortable.

    And to say that "Well, it's all imaginary so it doesn't mean anything!" is extremely naive.

  4. If want moral grey areas use humans and demi humans that is why they are in the game. Humanoids are there to kill.
    Real world history doesnt equal fantasy game. Yes there are historical weapons and technologies. No it isnt a simulation of our past.

    Also colonial expansionists did not invent slavery or genocide. Those wonderful inventions are as old as man.

    It is imaginary. dont weight imagination down with your hang ups.